Wants, Needs or Both



I am so tired of feelings. What form of oppression are we enduring to battle to be our true selves? To think about each choice individually as a moment in our existence that affects our future selves.

To be able to revel in the choice best suitable for our inner peace and then be satisfied with the choice we are choosing for ourselves, is not a small feat to conquer.

I encourage you to take each step, each choice, each moment reflecting on the innermost needs of your soul. Needs more importantly, than wants.
Starting with food, we eat to refuel, not to overindulge..  for example. You may not have that overindulgence in this area of your life, but it may cause you to partake in a different area of indulgence to compensate in another area. You are not alone, sometimes, we are not even realizing our choices creating secondary choices amongst the first. Also taking note that after our needs are fullfilled our wants take over. Whatever they may consist of; to each their own desires.

Thinking about how wants and needs coexist, they should be more fluid, streamline and parallel with each other. Needs can never be equivelant to our wants, no matter how we try to convince ourselves of their importance.

Our wants and needs have value, they define who and what we want. We CAN be strong enough to ask ourselves for the gift of providing ourselves with such fullfillment of all our desires. We have to believe we can, we deserve to and that we will, or we won’t.

Pertaining to anything, relationships that are romantic, platonic or not existant. We have the power to change ourselves, not those around us. Trying to change others only deters us from our original personal goals trying to gain personal improvement over our lives. Focus on you.

Giving up is not an option, giving in is a choice.

Choose wisely for thr gift you give connects you to thr next gift you choose to offer. Repetitive routine is the human way, breaking the cycle is only a footstep on the path.

Break your path, make your trail and lead it to the divine existence of you. Who YOU want to be, who YOU crave to be. Just be YOU! I love you, YOU are amazing and always were.

Only love today..
See flowers not weeds.

I believe in you, yes YOU! So should you.

You are you.. I am too.


I had a dream of a woman whom I felt was close to me, as I could see her face speaking to me.. also in daytime in my periphial I saw her twice.. I tried quick hand sketching to see if it would flow. I had to stop for I was frightened..  the woman I see and dreamt is me. powering from within. Hinder or help.. I’m here.

Forever confined to giving.

I would like the gift of love; not in a box or with a bow,  but from your eyes. Sealed with truth. Enflamed with heat.

Gift of love

Gifts can be bought
Gifts can be sold

thinking a lot
it never gets old

what to do
where to go

doesn’t matter if it’s old
doesn’t matter if it’s new

I find it in the one
that I find true

I can’t be blue,
all i need is you.

no gifts of things
no gifts with strings

bought and paid
I’m here for you

making everyday better
is all that i can do

i will struggle
i will strife
give up my life!

For you or anyone too

I live my days
hiding my say,

it’s just easier that way.

Breaking Trail

Sometimes, aspiring to do something seems so simple, so possible, so reachable. You jump in start working, breaking trail, making your way.. all seems right with the world. Every hair on your arm lays relaxed and lays there, down aerodynamic with ypur skin.. and ROad BLOCk!

A tree laying on the path, blocking the way, seizing the reach of your destination. Stuck, heavy, mammoth, and unmovable. You notice your hair on your arm is standing up, twitching in the nervousness of you skin. Blockimg you from within.

Feeling an inner woodsman spirit guide the trim. Take that axe and whack it with a grin. Bust it up, chunks, broken into movable sections. Drawing on the power you’ve mustered to win. To break the barrier. To take that moment, that need to go at each swing with every tear of gusto leaving with each drop.

Sobbing.. every impact is only a dent, not even a puncture, sitting, hands tingling from injury.

Looking to the axe.. bsckwards. Really? Swinging and swinging a hammer,, not even an ax there at all. How? The idea is humiliatingly hilarious. To think, whack after whack and not make progress and not notice; to be so blockaded by the obstacles we are unable to see right before us.

Simply using the wrong tool can have dire consequences. Or the right tool used incorrectly the same. My brain led me on this daydream journey and I question its necessity..  conclusion; we are all tools. To be used, fabricated and adjusted.. a little adjustment here a tweak there.

Flipping that axe around swinging like you’ve never swung. Taking the stride to see the crack the wedge emerge broken from the wood emerging a slice to which you blockade IS movable,  will be pieced out to clear the path. Break the trail and make it through, passing the pieces one at a time until the trusty axe and bicep are both spent To gain passage through the trail to see the light the golden of t e night. over the passage to top. Reaching just in time..


A sunset as glorious as the fight.

20170502_202007That so easily drifts off into the night.


Battle of the Bee’s


Just this morning, I decidedly wandered outside to feel the morning sun on my face. Sat on a field stone and looked down to my wrist of the hand that held the clay mug. A bee sat, looking smaller than I remember and after a second it zipped up to the center of my eyes on my nose. Instantly adrenaline rushes my body, the urge to do something or hold still. Both at once. A thousand thoughts compressed into a mere second. Feeling a rush take over my whole everything.

Almost as quickly as it landed, it flew away. One look and it was gone. Got me to think about the threat of the bee population.

In that instant made me realize two things. Bee’s are good and bee’s are bad. Good as in we need them to survive and bad because they can harm us on an individual basis.

So with so many mixed good with bad interpretations of the threat to the population causes me to personally withdraw from the fight. Questioning my actions.. simple as am I planting the wrong thing?

I hope others are more compelled to save them, because the guilt I feel based on marketing skills used by advertisers is making me vacate the fight, sadly.

Sorry bee’s, I will always plant for you.


via Photo Challenge: Danger!

Look Closer.. What do YOU see?

20170502_113917Things aren’t always what they seem.





Did you expect..















We learn to look closer.


20170502_111516.jpgWe are quick to look. BUT sometimes more than a glance is required.

Fire can be ice in disguise.

Fire & Ice

Ironic Muse


Lucid Thought

20170501_121022Is it possible to feel a thought moreso, than you “think” it?

PTSD for example would be describing a similar feelimg or side effect per se, but what about without negativity or positivity only a sense of neutral.

Where the thought is felt so much so that it surrounds you in a day dream without being hallucinating (or sleeping) and triggers an emotional response.

Actor’s being able to cry on que, I would think use this form of thinking.

What if having complete control over your emotions would enable you to have thoughts that enable you to walk past peers and feel every thought thunk in your presence. Empathy.. Empats, poeple whom carry the burden of their surroundings.

To walk past anguish and not stop.

When will we see that we can not see?

We have eyes that only “see” when open; there can only be light in darkness, otherwise the circle of life isn’t complete.

I like circles, they are neverending and always seem to be going somewhere. Even stretched to thin and stuck together they are symbols of infinity.

How does a circle make you feel?

Now a star?

Did anything change? mine did.

Thoughts make you feel and some hide so much so from it, to avoid thinking a thought you might latet regret.

Every thought has a consequence whether we choose to think them individually or as a group. Each feeling differently, if we choose the right “feeling” thought, does it improve our consequence and deem it then a reward?

I like to think so. Life is a reward well deserved. When we truly appreciate it, we will fear less the consequences. Only then will we be able to relish in the idea that life is a lucid thought. A thought we can imagine up to infinity.

Ironic Muse

when i close my eyes
I see you smiling
slowly turning angry,
I open them
I see you angry

I want to sleep
to see you happy,
the more i cry
the more i sleep
the more i sleep
the easier i weep

you don’t see
I can’t always
be the rainbow,

you can’t always be
a cloud that’s grey

i need to be
the rain cloud, too

if i’m a cloud
trying to be a rainbow
with another cloud
everything is all grey.

no colors
no prism.

only fluff
and ruffles
floating away
distant and together
forever in today.

You can’t have a rainbow
without a rain cloud.
You have to have both.

Maybe.. we are the rain
as it falls exploding each drop
Maybe.. we are the wind
pushing into unknown territory.
we remain the same
or alternating if you will.

I will create
the storm
as it once blew in.

A creation of life
we will begin
to forego the pressures
and start over.
To create
a relationship anew.

Together with you.
my love.

From love,
built from within.

Decadence .. without sin.

Ironic Muse

Life Apprentice


via Daily Prompt: Apprentice

Life Apprentice

Sometimes the “in” crowd can be exhausting. So time consuming to “keep up with Jone’s” as my dad would say.

What is my definition of “in” you ask?

I would define it as: up to date. On fashion, technology, business, education, and social excellence.

Why after writing that do I feel angry?

I’m angry because fashion is always changing, technology always advancing, business forever fluctuating, education is endless and social excellence is judged by your peers.

Is this definition bias?
No, more prejudice than bias.

Prejudice because we can not all excel in all of these categories. To aspire and achieve each situation that arises before us, is all one human can ask of one another.

An angry party might say “that’s settling” I say it’s accepting the surroundings around you and aspiring for more, in the form of excellence; because we all need aspirations to work toward. We can and will.

Where you fit in is up to you.

In-complete, In-satiable, in-correct

in-credible, in-teresting, in-tellect.

No matter our way in to the “in” crowd we reside, we always have a chance to change tomorrow..

Life is full of surprises.

We can “fit in” provided we mold ourselvea into the desired shape to fit into the puzzle we choose to be a part of; may it be a complex masterpiece.


Ironic Muse